June 19, 2011

June 02, 2011

Grey's Anatomy

"There is a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't because I thought I would be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love? And then you don't have it. What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This? It could go on forever ... "
-Meredith Grey in Grey's Anatomy.

"Love what is ahead by loving what has come before." - Yogi Bhajan

Was it just a year ago... ? Or more..?
In a galaxy far far away.

Radiance..
It was myself and a friend of mine walking home after yoga class, along the river Thames in London. He asked me what I like in my life, I just burst into tears and replied "I like nothing in my life". He asked what would make me happy. What would make me happy indeed?
He held my hand all the way home, gave me a hug and told me to stay in touch, not to be a stranger, not to isolate myself.
This man has a big heart, he is caring, more than most others. His words were like magic, exactly what i needed to hear, right place, right time.

And this man is still somewhere there, I know this for sure.

Another one, here we go:
Not so in the distant past- I was somewhere on a mountain. Climbing up was not actually a pleasure, but the view from up there was fantastic, so rewarding. It was peaceful and quiet. I just felt good, the way I was supposed to feel when I am 100% present in myself. I was surrounded by a group of people, all on the same journey. On the way down the mountain I saw a llama, one of those Peruvian four legged animals. The llama's eyes were bright and full of wisdom. It took me a while to be able to turn my gaze away from that magnificent animal. This could have well been the highlight of the journey. Such a simple thing, but it was wonderful. Walking up and down the mountain, feeling negative and angry and even bored, physically so exhausted that uphill journey was a constant struggle. Yes, gravity did provide assistance in climbing/sliding down, but then the journey up had already wiped all that deep seated negativity and anxiousness out of my mind. I was free to enjoy the scenery.. and the Llama!

This one really and truly happened once, somewhere in the French Alps, breathtaking scenery, but it was already dark when our group finally made it to the top. Following morning beauty of this sacred site was crystal clear- there was no doubt in my mind then that I had reached one of the destinations assigned for me. There were no llamas, but I think I saw a cow!