Supersized insults

Person S: "Where you've been?"
Me: "On sick leave. I had hysterectomy."
Person S: "Oh reallyyyyy? And did you have abortion as well...?"
Me: "Hmmmm. What ?!? But yeah, for your information, yes I did have hysterectomy."

"S" stands for STUPID.

Selected few lines here"
"Hey why are you so big?"
"Hey have you ever seen how big your backside is?"
"Madam, you are too fat."
"You are a weirdo."
"You have a weird haircut."

I believe there are more, way too many to list here. Some people have made it their mission to insult others, some insults are worse than others, but that "abortion" is just over the top. C'mon! Watch what you say, because this shit was total garbage. Rest assured, that person, who said it, will have their own battle one day. Naming and shaming would be awesome, but this is not the time or place.

It's because of that

It is pretty amazing what we all achieve in our lives. It does not need to be anything really very remarkable and whether it is writing a novel or watching a horror movie it's an accomplishment. Some sort of. Not each and every day needs to be full of accomplishments.

My day started quite well. Having had good night and plenty of rest, I thought the day will surely be brilliant. Not so. Seeing some colleagues at work triggers unpleasant sensations. No matter how hard I try, I find it hard even to look at them and I feel I've got to get distance between them and myself. At least they don't smell and it is not really physical unpleasantness in them either.... But it is that bloody awful attitude, that they are on top of the world. They feel they have been treated unfairly and are being bullied, when in fact it's exactly the opposite. Mornings often start with mind-numbing meetings that on a reasonably positive note, but almost end in tears and someone walking out in a hurry. I could do one lousy meeting like that, but had to run away from the one in the afternoon. What sorta boss never gets questioned by the authorities, when the whole department falls into pieces, insults fly from all four corners and employees resign one by one?
My one and only request (it was just ONE, honest. I knew I could have just this ONE) was to change work assignment. Guess what the response was: NO. We touched the subject briefly later, but even then the boss pretended not to have ever discussed any such thing with me. It was her way or highway. I am beginning to reach that highway. Few colleagues more more than willing to discuss change of work assignment, but even that did not save me.
Do I ever feel I am being bullied? Hell yeah I am. Every day. It's an insane epidemic, very much like a known contagious disease.

"Well touch my mouth and hold my tongue
I'll never be your chosen one
I'll be home safe and tucked away
Well you can't tempt me if I don't see the day."
- Mumford&Sons: Broken Crown

Friend of mine, whom I met after work was talking along the same lines. How work sucks at times, how life is hard in general and how he fell asleep right after coming home from work. But considering that these are really minor issues, he said why worry about them that much.
Yes, why worry.
I'll be seeing my doctor tomorrow morning, and I could be on the operating table again on May 21, so in a big scheme of things I think things are really just fine.

My achievement of the day was that I just accepted on some level what was happening, did not start crying, but left the meeting before more harm than good was said and done. It does not mean I will continue to accept the situation. 

  

What's up Whatsapp?

Avoiding nasty comments and insults aimed at you is almost an impossibility in this life. I got a taste of that yesterday. Not the first time, of course not, but last night's lengthy exchange of words got too far. Without social media this would probably not have happened. Without being intoxicated this would not have happened. Had I switched off the cellphone, this would not gone so far.
Discussion about horse feed. Discussion that turned sour. These are the "juiciest" bits, copied and pasted from Whats App:

"You not going to buy feed from me" (this was meant as question, I presume)
I responded by saying I am not going to change my horse's feed right now. She does not need anything extra.
"Well she is eating rabish now" (rubbish? radish?)
" I'm really disappointed with how you treat your horse" (Excuse me??!!)
" She wasn't in local feed until you put her there" (I "put" the horse on local feed..? "Local food is good enough, or else the stable would not offer it to owners)
"And problems happened" (Do problems "happen"? Do they not "occur"..? Wrong verb, loser!)
"Treat your horse don't be cheap" (Cheap..????? Who's cheap here? I treat my horse at times better than anyone else in my life)
"This for only owners who love treating their horses. Cheap owners don't" (I am not denying the fact that the food YOU sell is not of quality food, but is this the only way to "treat" my horse?
"Ummm maybe that exactly what you need.  Change feed and problems gone." (What problems? My horse was lame earlier this year. Equine vet, who saw the x-rays of the horse's feet, said there are signs of chronic laminitis, but that the horse could be ridden. Shoeing regimen should not be changed right now. Right front foot is little worse that left, but if the horse walks/trots without being lame, she can be ridden)

Me: "Were you drunk yesterday evening when you were texting me?"
- "Yes very drunk"

So it went, and I know it was the drink speaking, but at the same time I wondered if this person is/was a genuine friend at all. Genuine friends do  not do this. 
Horse's workload is pretty light. One 1/2 hour lesson a week and otherwise just hacking out. Once in a blue moon horse and another rider take part in dressage show. No jumping, no cross country. 

Bitter memories remain from that conversation. I am confident of my ability to do what is best for my horse and I don't take this sort of abuse lightly. Someone needs to apologize, and I need to forgive. I don't know how I am going to do that, but somehow I've got to find the way. Trust is gone, that is for sure, and as it says in the article below:

Our words leave the most lasting impression

http://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2013/10/words-leave-lasting-impression.html