August 09, 2014
One rule for you, one for me
This is how the story goes over and over ago, like a broken record:
This person, who works in an unnamed organization, has it all. Decent salary, authority, freedom to do and decide whatever is convenient à la mode de micromanager. Office with a view, which enables the manager to look for disobedient unruly employees. And yes, there are plenty of them.
In normal fair and equal world all employees, including that notorious micromanager arrive at work and leave on time. In ideal world no micromanagement exist, neither do micromanagers, but then we do not live in an ideal world. We live in a world, where manager decides, manager comes and goes, manager is late, manager lies and hides facts, manager manages and manager says No. Manager is not respected, well-liked or loved, quite the contrary. This sort of managing style won't help in making friends, but the manager does not realize this.
Why don't same rules apply? Spending rather a wild weekend, returning from holiday or whatever does not give an employee the right to arrive to work late on Monday morning. But somehow these rules don't apply to the manager. Why???!!! I can honestly say I am always on time at work each morning, unless I am home unconscious, had car accident or something. It is very very rare that my alarm clock does not function. Manager is paid that high salary, and then gets these extra privileges too. Perhaps they are included in the contract? "Thou shall be late every Monday morning" and "Returning from holidays gives you an automatic right to be late or not show up at all". Yes, this must be the case. My contract does not give me these rights, but there are always those privileged ones. Always. That's just the fact of life.
I am disgusted.
This person, who works in an unnamed organization, has it all. Decent salary, authority, freedom to do and decide whatever is convenient à la mode de micromanager. Office with a view, which enables the manager to look for disobedient unruly employees. And yes, there are plenty of them.
In normal fair and equal world all employees, including that notorious micromanager arrive at work and leave on time. In ideal world no micromanagement exist, neither do micromanagers, but then we do not live in an ideal world. We live in a world, where manager decides, manager comes and goes, manager is late, manager lies and hides facts, manager manages and manager says No. Manager is not respected, well-liked or loved, quite the contrary. This sort of managing style won't help in making friends, but the manager does not realize this.
Why don't same rules apply? Spending rather a wild weekend, returning from holiday or whatever does not give an employee the right to arrive to work late on Monday morning. But somehow these rules don't apply to the manager. Why???!!! I can honestly say I am always on time at work each morning, unless I am home unconscious, had car accident or something. It is very very rare that my alarm clock does not function. Manager is paid that high salary, and then gets these extra privileges too. Perhaps they are included in the contract? "Thou shall be late every Monday morning" and "Returning from holidays gives you an automatic right to be late or not show up at all". Yes, this must be the case. My contract does not give me these rights, but there are always those privileged ones. Always. That's just the fact of life.
I am disgusted.
August 01, 2014
Back to the past.. for a moment
But no. Next morning I found myself sitting in a taxi driving toward The Hospital. I hate seeing it and nothing in or outside that hospital structure provides any comfort. My one and only task was to find the outpatient building (ok, same location, same floor, same room), see the doctor (nice to see ya... not), book the next appointment (AWWWW NO NOT ANOTHER ONE). Can we check your height and weight? NO. Blood pressure? Sure. 155/91 (I really and truly hate this place). Do you have fever? No. 36.7 C (despite of the fact that it was well above +40 C outside and I was boiling with heat and anger and disgust and fear). They probably will now document in the file that "patient was not cooperative". Go ahead, document what you want.
End result is that I will need to return to The Hospital in October. They want to do the final thyroid whole body scan. If it was just the cutting edge scan and no blood tests, no time wasting doctor's appointments, I'd probably be ok. The fact is that it's all inclusive, all comes in one package, same price for all. Once again, they will document that patient was reluctant to co-operate. I get it that they are trying to help me, but they too could be little more understanding and kind. I get it that it's a hospital and some people think working in hospital gives you the right to treat patients like dirt. Definitely not inform them of any delays. Definitely delay them even more if you can. Add to that being relentlessly rude and patronizing. Not all staff do that at all, of course. Thank God that they don't.
Travel to The Hospital AKA torture chamber annoys me most. Waiting times piss me off. Queues everywhere are a real turn-off. Waiting areas are sterile, aged and tired and there are no seats. Then there is a sign "Do Not Wait in The Corridor". Well, smart pants, tell me shall I wait outside then..?!?
In preparation for the scan, low-iodine diet looks forward to meeting me www.cc.nih.gov/ccc/patient_education/pepubs/lo_io_diet.pdf. Thyrogen injections are eager to attack me with that very sharpest needle. www.thyrogen.com/ Awesome. I can't wait. Just makes me wonder how far I could push it with the low-iodine diet. How strict must one really be? What if I all of a sudden start craving for pasta, cereal, chips and all that Thou Shall Not Eat? One or two mouthfuls probably won't hurt? Once again "patient is non-compliant" will be documented in my file.
There are three more questions I need to answer too: What if I don't go at all? No scans, no appointments, no follow-up.What if I go, but walk out?What if I just don't go, cancel all appointments, scans, needlesticks etc.
I may come up with answers one day, sooner or later, before October arrives, but before that I may need to read my own survival guides I wrote in the blog in 2012 and 2013. Will I survive by reading my own survival guides?
July 18, 2014
Life is unpredictable
When we expect to board the plane, be it MH17 or another, we just expect to get on the plane and get to the destination within the time that's supposed to be the right time. The earlier the better. Then the news about Malaysian aircraft. It could have been any of us in that plane. How awful! I happened to be browsing through Facebook newsfeed and there it was; online newspaper headline. Speculations of how, who, why, what continue. Separatists have previously claimed responsibility of destroying various other aircrafts, helicopters etc so yeah, I guess it could be them again. Whoever it was, whoever owned those missiles it is still an absolute tragedy and murder.
All those passengers, just like us, have stories to tell. It's all over for them and it's a terrible loss. We just don't know when it is all over and it's not necessarily airplane crash.
Any of these days could be our last, so then perhaps there is no need to get so wound up about minor issues in daily life. I try remembering it too.
All those passengers, just like us, have stories to tell. It's all over for them and it's a terrible loss. We just don't know when it is all over and it's not necessarily airplane crash.
Any of these days could be our last, so then perhaps there is no need to get so wound up about minor issues in daily life. I try remembering it too.
July 03, 2014
Dog's don't micromanage
Since The Dog has moved into my household, he has shredded a jacket, chewed and destroyed a pair of sunglasses, pair of reading glasses, lipstick, several paper bags (those posh ones you get from posh stores), pair of cheap hotel slippers, magazines/newspapers, emptied the contents of my handbag, raided my friend's gym bag. He attempted to shred his new doggie bed too, but he stopped when I told him NOOOOOOOO.
I take him out for a walk three times a day, feed him, pet him, chat with him and this is what he does. He is nowadays called Charlie The Shredder. If you have confidential papers to shred, so ahead and deliver them at Charlie's office.
"Ten Choices You Regret in Ten Years"; the whole web article is worth reading. It is so well worth it that I shared it in my Facebook page too. It's interesting, thought-provoking and even more- very up to date. Have a look at this one:
"Trying to micromanage every little thing. – Life should be touched, not strangled. Sometimes you’ve got to relax and let life happen without incessant worry and micromanagement. Learn to let go a little before you squeeze too tight. Take a deep breath. When the dust settles and you can once again see the forest for the trees, take the next step forward. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great. Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not. It just takes some time to connect all the dots."
I take him out for a walk three times a day, feed him, pet him, chat with him and this is what he does. He is nowadays called Charlie The Shredder. If you have confidential papers to shred, so ahead and deliver them at Charlie's office.
"Ten Choices You Regret in Ten Years"; the whole web article is worth reading. It is so well worth it that I shared it in my Facebook page too. It's interesting, thought-provoking and even more- very up to date. Have a look at this one:
"Trying to micromanage every little thing. – Life should be touched, not strangled. Sometimes you’ve got to relax and let life happen without incessant worry and micromanagement. Learn to let go a little before you squeeze too tight. Take a deep breath. When the dust settles and you can once again see the forest for the trees, take the next step forward. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great. Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not. It just takes some time to connect all the dots."
Weekend is almost upon us, so let's not spoil it by talking about micromanagement. It's just that micromanagement seems like that very latest buzzword, something in fashion right now. Hell yeah! But does anyone really understand the concept of micromanagement? Merriam-Webster Dictionary can offer a helping hand: it defines micromanaging as 'managing with excessive control or attention to details'.
Micromanager= a person with low self-esteem, bullying tendencies, feelings of inadequacy. Wearing blinkers. Not able to see the forest from the trees. Closes the stable door after the horse has bolted. Plain stupid.
There is something to think about for the weekend, but I am pretty sure my dog has no micromanaging tendencies. He is awesome, shreds stuff, but stays happy all the time. Smiles. Does not ask questions. Does not attempt controlling people.
June 30, 2014
True bravery
Sometimes people, who you work with, can truly surprise you. It's not just a bunch of flowers kind of surprise, but something more. Huge. Bigger than Mount Everest. One such special person (you know who you are) did more that anyone expected. Probably surprised him/herself too. Incroyable!
Make no mistake, they say. Well, "some" people apparently thought they could drive this brave person crazy, but he/she put stop into it by saying no to bullying, no to being a coward and no to unreasonable demands. It was "them", who made a mistake by taking it all for granted and wanting more, greedy selfish bullies! One bully in particular was nasty, with appalling vocabulary, abused his/her power and simply had to be stopped. This colleague of mine, one of my favorite persons stepped up and said no more, is one of the bravest persons I have ever known. By doing what she did, she also helped others, who face the same problem at work every day. He/she proved that there are people willing to help those in need, all you need to do is ask.
It was one of "them" bullies, who at the end could not face my brave colleague in one of the meetings, but sent a representative instead. Who's a coward now?!
The other one of "them" suddenly could not look anyone in the eye and sat behind the desk all dark and depressed, guilt shining through every action and word. Yeah, what goes around comes around.
If you are being bullies, do what needs to be done. Speak up and say something. Talk to someone, who can help. No one needs to be a victim of such bullies anymore and by "just doing it" as Nike advert says, you are no longer a weak fool, who can be kicked around.
Now seeing my colleague every day gives me a reason to smile. The way this was handled was just awesome! All respect to you. What an embarrassment for the bully.
Make no mistake, they say. Well, "some" people apparently thought they could drive this brave person crazy, but he/she put stop into it by saying no to bullying, no to being a coward and no to unreasonable demands. It was "them", who made a mistake by taking it all for granted and wanting more, greedy selfish bullies! One bully in particular was nasty, with appalling vocabulary, abused his/her power and simply had to be stopped. This colleague of mine, one of my favorite persons stepped up and said no more, is one of the bravest persons I have ever known. By doing what she did, she also helped others, who face the same problem at work every day. He/she proved that there are people willing to help those in need, all you need to do is ask.
It was one of "them" bullies, who at the end could not face my brave colleague in one of the meetings, but sent a representative instead. Who's a coward now?!
The other one of "them" suddenly could not look anyone in the eye and sat behind the desk all dark and depressed, guilt shining through every action and word. Yeah, what goes around comes around.
If you are being bullies, do what needs to be done. Speak up and say something. Talk to someone, who can help. No one needs to be a victim of such bullies anymore and by "just doing it" as Nike advert says, you are no longer a weak fool, who can be kicked around.
Now seeing my colleague every day gives me a reason to smile. The way this was handled was just awesome! All respect to you. What an embarrassment for the bully.
It won't happen to me. Never.
Textbooks talk about stroke, heart attack, cancer, pelvic organ prolapse, broken bones, intra-cranial bleed, spinal injury, depression etc. So much stuff can go wrong with our bodies. It's another story then if any of above ever happens to any of us at all. Some lucky ones can probably live their lives without a lot going wrong.
Textbooks can write all they want. Some of them are written by jerks, who never ever fall ill or even break a fingernail. Some others.. I guess they understand little. What I totally hate is that utter crap they write about "patients, who must do this and that etc", but it's not always that crystal clear. There are patients, who feel they have the right to question stuff medical person wants them to do. Provide this specimen and then lay down so we can examine you. Not so fast. Hell yeah, you'll have to question it, if you break a fingernail and they want you to lay down. Uh-oh, surely not because of fingernail. But you get my point.
My original point was that some of this stuff will hopefully not happen to me, ever. Of course, when they say "been there, done that" they ain't talking about whitewater rafting, but about medical "issues". I can cross cancer off in my bucket list. Pelvic organ prolapse too! Yikes! How on earth did that happen?
Then I get that good ole textbook out and read, and read and freak out. What the f...k. I'm not having that sorta problem. I'm a superhero. But this, if it's really what they say, grade I-II uterine prolapse, it's got to be fixed. Yesterday. Textbook tells me it's gotta be fixed. I'm not comfortable thinking one day soon grade II becomes grade III and IV and what then. Totally understandable that people want their problems and issues fixed. Lucky that we are not living in Stone Age anymore and fixing and repairing things is often possible. Lucky too that e.g. this prolapse thing can be fixed.
I still think it can't happen to me, but here we are, another day, another dollar. Dollars will no doubt help me in choosing the right person and hospital to treat this and fix it once and for all.
Textbooks can write all they want. Some of them are written by jerks, who never ever fall ill or even break a fingernail. Some others.. I guess they understand little. What I totally hate is that utter crap they write about "patients, who must do this and that etc", but it's not always that crystal clear. There are patients, who feel they have the right to question stuff medical person wants them to do. Provide this specimen and then lay down so we can examine you. Not so fast. Hell yeah, you'll have to question it, if you break a fingernail and they want you to lay down. Uh-oh, surely not because of fingernail. But you get my point.
My original point was that some of this stuff will hopefully not happen to me, ever. Of course, when they say "been there, done that" they ain't talking about whitewater rafting, but about medical "issues". I can cross cancer off in my bucket list. Pelvic organ prolapse too! Yikes! How on earth did that happen?
Then I get that good ole textbook out and read, and read and freak out. What the f...k. I'm not having that sorta problem. I'm a superhero. But this, if it's really what they say, grade I-II uterine prolapse, it's got to be fixed. Yesterday. Textbook tells me it's gotta be fixed. I'm not comfortable thinking one day soon grade II becomes grade III and IV and what then. Totally understandable that people want their problems and issues fixed. Lucky that we are not living in Stone Age anymore and fixing and repairing things is often possible. Lucky too that e.g. this prolapse thing can be fixed.
I still think it can't happen to me, but here we are, another day, another dollar. Dollars will no doubt help me in choosing the right person and hospital to treat this and fix it once and for all.
June 02, 2014
How to survive post-operative phase AKA those non-productive days after operation Part 1
Rule number 1 is "Take it Easy". No matter how much you want to take that vacuum cleaner out and clean the house. Leave those black dog hairs on the floor, as long as you can navigate your way from bedroom to restroom and kitchen. Hopefully you have family and friends around, who can help you. It does not always mean that the shorter the hospital stay, the easier it is to recover. Not necessarily so at all. First few days are ok and fine to stay in bed for the most part of the day, but then I notice there are things that need doing, such as taking that vacuum cleaner out. Unfortunately, or fortunately mine is still in the box, unopened, gift-wrapped and taped, stapled, so I could not possibly get it out without help. Doggy hairs are still on the floor and they remain there until I can do something about it. Good old dustpan will do in the meantime.
I'm not a good typical compliant patient. This is why I overdid it yesterday. There were places to go to, people and animals to see and I simply had to do it all. I was still up at 11pm, got woken up by "Chewie" the dog (he was once called Charlie, but because he loves to chew, he is now Chewie) at 6am, took him out for potty break and nearly passed out. Came back in, drank water, fed Chewie and took a nap on the living room sofa.
Take it easy becomes a golden rule 1. It has purpose and a meaning, it's not there just to tell you to take a vacation and go out partying. It's there to help to flush anesthesia toxins out of the system, kick constipation in its butt, keep painkillers at hand, take long showers, eat well, drink a lot of water and sleep, watch TV, fall asleep in the middle of a good movie, wake up dazed and confused, hungry, thirsty and in pain... Aarrrrgghhhh! Those moments asleep on the sofa become very precious, because healing really happens when you are asleep and with a bit of luck pain won't wake you up. My dog sleeps on the floor next to me, keeping an eye on me. He takes care of my exercise requirements, which are just short walks outside, but little by little I can add extra minutes and yards and make them longer. Without the dog, I don't think I'd be outside much.
Take it easy- but yes, do something. Do it and then plan to be back on the living room sofa for the next few hours. Enjoy being non-productive, because those days when you have no choice (i.e. back to work, school..) are on their way. I have 5 more days left and I'll enjoy them as much as I can.
I'm not a good typical compliant patient. This is why I overdid it yesterday. There were places to go to, people and animals to see and I simply had to do it all. I was still up at 11pm, got woken up by "Chewie" the dog (he was once called Charlie, but because he loves to chew, he is now Chewie) at 6am, took him out for potty break and nearly passed out. Came back in, drank water, fed Chewie and took a nap on the living room sofa.
Take it easy becomes a golden rule 1. It has purpose and a meaning, it's not there just to tell you to take a vacation and go out partying. It's there to help to flush anesthesia toxins out of the system, kick constipation in its butt, keep painkillers at hand, take long showers, eat well, drink a lot of water and sleep, watch TV, fall asleep in the middle of a good movie, wake up dazed and confused, hungry, thirsty and in pain... Aarrrrgghhhh! Those moments asleep on the sofa become very precious, because healing really happens when you are asleep and with a bit of luck pain won't wake you up. My dog sleeps on the floor next to me, keeping an eye on me. He takes care of my exercise requirements, which are just short walks outside, but little by little I can add extra minutes and yards and make them longer. Without the dog, I don't think I'd be outside much.
Take it easy- but yes, do something. Do it and then plan to be back on the living room sofa for the next few hours. Enjoy being non-productive, because those days when you have no choice (i.e. back to work, school..) are on their way. I have 5 more days left and I'll enjoy them as much as I can.
PS: Dried prunes are great for constipation... and dude, please don't throw me overboard...
June 01, 2014
Out of hospital
What a day.
As always, my fondness toward hospital has not grown, in fact it is heading into the very opposite direction. It's a that usual routine for healthcare workers, who see stuff happening; people come and go, have their procedures and operations etc. Once again I've come to realize that it's a very unique experience for a patient.
I felt helpless, lost, scared and did not want to be there. Needles=pain. Hospital gown= humiliation and embarrassment. TED stockings= new fashion statement. I was just so lucky that there were many friends, who kept me company and popped in when I was in recovery. Couldn't have asked for more. Nevertheless, going to the operating room was not a pleasant journey and it doesn't get easier. Experienced OR visitor, such as undersigned, should have no issues, but yeah go ahead and try it yourself. Then tell me what you think.
I have no veins, at least none that unskilled healthcare workers can poke and practice on. It was the anesthetist, who finally managed to find one. Felt a lot better, when first drops of Propofol reached the blood circulation.
I'm back home now and can't get enough of my new black Labrador boy. He is called Charlie and he is gorgeous. Healing happens at home, not in hospital bed, if that is an option and I am grateful that it was ok for me to go home back to Charlie.
I felt helpless, lost, scared and did not want to be there. Needles=pain. Hospital gown= humiliation and embarrassment. TED stockings= new fashion statement. I was just so lucky that there were many friends, who kept me company and popped in when I was in recovery. Couldn't have asked for more. Nevertheless, going to the operating room was not a pleasant journey and it doesn't get easier. Experienced OR visitor, such as undersigned, should have no issues, but yeah go ahead and try it yourself. Then tell me what you think.
I have no veins, at least none that unskilled healthcare workers can poke and practice on. It was the anesthetist, who finally managed to find one. Felt a lot better, when first drops of Propofol reached the blood circulation.
I'm back home now and can't get enough of my new black Labrador boy. He is called Charlie and he is gorgeous. Healing happens at home, not in hospital bed, if that is an option and I am grateful that it was ok for me to go home back to Charlie.
"Fear can hold you prisoner. Hope can set you free." - Stephen King
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