RAI

I'm so incredibly tired, physically, mentally. 2012 has been challenging. My father died in summer. My grandma died later in the fall. My horse died 1 week and 1 day ago.

Cancer relapsed and I am going for RAI on Monday. I don't handle being isolated very well, but perhaps this is my chance to learn.

Not everything in 2012 has been bad. I have made good friends with K, fellow cancer patient, one of the bravest people I have ever known. I have made lots of progress on the new- not so new anymore- horse and that is very rewarding. I started new job in spring, and have enjoyed it tremendously.

I had a great vacation in Wyoming in August, one of those experiences I always wanted and needed.
I also had an awesome visit at MD Anderson cancer Center- can you really say it is awesome? As soon as I stepped into the hospital, it was as if it was not a hospital at all. I remember the kindness of people, staff, patients. I remember the aquarium and delicious yummy Sara Lee red velvet cupcakes.
I had great time in Herrmann Park. 

I don't know what next week brings along... but it is one step at a time. I'll be sure to update the blog and report all about what RAI really does to you. Another survival guide!

Ad Gurey Nameh

Sweetest horse, who ever lived..

"May the Long Time Sun
Shine upon you
All love surround you
And the pure light
within you
Guide your way on
Guide your way on

May the Long Time Sun
Shine upon you
All love surround you
And the pure light
within you
Guide your way on
Guide your way on"

- Snatam Kaur

In memory of Sagar, the sweetest horse that ever lived.

RIP Sagar 1984-2012
You were loved by everyone. God loves you. Death is not the end, it is another beginning and we will meet again. In the meantime, my precious horse, please find my father and grandma, who passed away this year. Lots beautiful and brilliant people have passed away this year.
You lived long beautiful life.I enjoyed every moment I spent with you. When the volcano erupted in Iceland, nothing could have stopped me coming back to you. By any means. It took 5 days, but I made it. Airport closures did not stop me, ash cloud did not stop me.
I loved you even when you bolted back to the stable, galloping and bucking.
I loved you even when you accidentally bit my thumb.
You loved grooming me, smelling my hair. You loved your watermelon.
You were a pleasure to ride. You taught me lots, you did not spook at things, well, most of the time you did not.
1984 when you were born, I was at school, being bullied every day.
I am devastated. There are no words to describe how I feel.

"

Deep in the meadow, under the willow

A bed of grass, a soft green pillow

Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes

And when again they open, the sun will rise.

Here it’s safe, here it’s warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you.

Deep in the meadow, hidden far away

A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray

Forget your woes and let your troubles lay

And when again it’s morning, they’ll wash away.

Here it’s safe, here it’s warm

Here the daisies guard you from every harm

Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true

Here is the place where I love you."

- Katniss Everdeen

Verdict

Thyroid WBS results are finally out: treatment option, the only one is radioactive iodine, aka RAI. It will probably be done sometime in this month. Happy Halloween.
I was hoping that the scan result would be clear. It was not.
I was hoping that it would not need treatment. It does.
I was hoping external radiotherapy would have been an option. It is not.

I'm just going to let it go, and go with the flow. Thanks be to God that there is something that can be done.