Battlefield

Christmas can be such fun and bring a lot of brightness into one of the darkest seasons on the earth. For some, for children and families, it is a celebration, bringing families and relatives togather, but for some it just brings more loneliness and misery. Being alone, no friends, no family around. For some, work is the only salvation- works allows many people be lonely, but not alone.
I will be working both Christmas and the New Year, even though that was no part of the grand plan. In between jobs, so to say, I got caught in a trap and my working days landed perfectly in the midst of the season of celebration. Working one or the other of these holidays would be fine, to be fair, but not both. And not without asking an employee first. A simple " can I ask you to work on these days" would have been enough for me. But NOTHING like that happened and I felt insulted, abused, hurt, angry, sad- all at the same time. Not a good start for a new job nor for 2010. Workwise not a good beginning, but for the year in general, I am hoping it will be a good one.
Well, time to get over it, Christmas Eve is drawing toward the end, lights are out and I am soon going to bed, sleep, and get ready for another day. Whilst being very well aware that my issues right now are very minor compared to such people, who never made it home early for Christmas, because their flight or train journey were canceled. Or delayed. Or something even worse that none of us really want to think about right now.
I am going to have a glass of something, definitely stronger than water and sleep.

The holiday season can be an awful challenge for some, but next year may not be the same. It might not be that depressing, lonely and frustrating. I have spent a New Year alone in London, watching fireworks in the city, standing on the hill somewhere on the Hampstead Heath, feeling cold, miserable and very much alone. A crowd around me, I was feeling not only cold, but uncomfortable, like I needed to carry a banner saying I AM NOT A LONELY LOSER. Following year I was invited to a party, where I was surrounded by another crowd, this time not really feeling 100% comfortable, but at least NOT alone. Another year: I was at home, not expecting to go anywhere- so I fell asleep in the late afternoon, and woke up in the early morning hours of 2009. Then a year after- which is this one; I will be welcoming the New Year at work! *#$@+(*&^~`Grrrrrrr! There are many different ways to celebrate, but which one to pick. For sure I am not going to be one of those sleeping through the change of the year, not this time.