February 03, 2013

Can't think of a title today

What is different in 2013 to 2012, same day, same time? What was I up to this time last year?  Am I older and wiser??

I certainly knew about cancer, that the journey would continue whether I was on board or not. Visit to MD Anderson Cancer Center in summer 2012 opened my eyes and I received encouraging news, but that was the time I knew I had to deal with this. Houston seemed like an interesting town, but I was fatigued and did not venture out that much. I did not rent a car thinking I'd get lost. Instead I boarded bus, taxi and tram, and the hotel had shuttle to the medical center and back. 
I recovered, and I feel well enough to work, ride and just be here. 
Friend of mine was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. OMG was I angry to hear about her! I was furious. Disbelief. Now seeing someone else going through the journey that no one should have to go through, forced me to stand up and be ready to support this person in whatever way was needed. 

I am a year older, probably wiser too. 
There are reasons for carrying on, trying to stay in present. I fail in that all the time, worrying about tomorrow, wondering what happened yesterday and why and how.. But perhaps I am getting tiny bit better in this. Today was today, I hope there is tomorrow, and yesterday's gone and it was a good day. Each day has to have moments of greatness, happiness and success, not just big bucks. Just have to try and find those moments... there's the challenge. They say do one thing that scares you every day. How about not doing that? Say no to challenge and scary stuff. I stay at home, watch TV, sleep and totally isolate myself from the outside world for a day. Well I may go out for a walk, but it ain't power walk. It is shuffling my feet, loitering, looking at scenery. Following day usually brings in need to meet people and socialize, maybe look for something challenging to do. Not scary stuff. Does it count that I was watching the movie "Final Destination 5"? Scary stuff? Done it. 


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