February 07, 2015

Drifting along

Too many choices in life- does it become overwhelming?
Too many uncertainties- same question?
Wouldn't a simple life, without having to make decisions, ask questions and choose between this and that, be better? What is the point of questioning, because there aren't always answers around. Wouldn't it be ideal that you can just pull all the right answers out of the pocket, pick the most appropriate one and it would always be the answer you wanted. Things would work out the way you wanted. No exceptions.
Questions such as these would be answered: What is the meaning of life? Are there aliens in another planet? Why am I tired today? Why can't I lose weight? Hmmmm. Let me consult my magic cards, and I will have an answer ready in a flash. Keep them questions coming: What is love? Is Elvis Presley alive? Can I one day become famous?  Why do people commit crimes? Why do phobias exist? Why do I fall in love with wrong men all the time? What caused dinosaurs to become instinct?

Why not just settle for a mediocre life? Just so that things are bearable, nothing in excess. Food, clothes, occasional movie ticket and dinner outside. Cable TV. Work, car. Same old daily schedule. Drift along. No questions, no answers. Time passes, as it always does.
Eat-sleep-work, and repeat. Don't crave and obsess about stuff you don't have and cannot possibly get. Don't even worry yourself about promotion at work. Don't think about that guy/girl, who you wanted to date, but couldn't, because he/she was already taken. There are no more doubts, no second-guessing, no wasted time. Pretty unpredictable, but safe and pretty bearable.

Might work for me. I get so preoccupied by certain stuff I know I will never get. Obsessed about that stuff. Not good, because then it consumes all of my time- good example was cancer, which I researched and studied for hours on end and never got the answers, so I had to carry on. In the end cancer journey lead me to Riyadh and Houston, but those hours that went into it, were so necessary. So I think mediocrity would not have been the right answer there, but at some other times being "average" is pretty much ok. Just let it go for a while, live your life, don't go looking for new challenges. Stagnate for a while. Live a life, and don't wait for magic answers to appear from nowhere. I keep walking, because that is the easiest way to shut the mind off for at least an hour and give my brain a break.
Then I can also practice stillness and keeping unwanted and unnecessary thoughts at bay. Forget.

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