June 02, 2009

They never returned

It is heartbreaking to hear about plane crashes such as the recent one somewhere over the Atlantic. Those poor souls vanished just like that, never to be seen again. It makes one wonder how much family, friends, relatives, co-workers really are appreciated- there will be a day when they won't be around anymore. Some may be easily forgotten, some won't be. It could be you or me one day, and probably will.. death and taxes are some of the things that happen in this life. I guess paying taxes can be avoided, somehow, in some parts of the world, but death cannot.
It just seems to arrive too early for some, and for those who'd wish for death it does not arrive early enough.

Each day reminds us of how fragile life is- no matter what.
My reminder was the yearly thyroid scan, which did not look promising as there are some "new" lymph nodes. New? I can't explain it, I don't know what they are, but one thing I know for sure: no more needles, no more biopsies, by all means bring out the scalpel and cut them out. Don't bother with biopsies. My cousin had a biopsy, sample taken from a giant tumor just below her heart. It wasn't a challenge to "find" the tumor, it was right there, but she freaked out seeing the enormous needle, which was about to catch a piece of the tumor. Yuck. I've seen those needles and they ain't pretty.
On a more positive note, daily occurring diarrhea seems to have settled- by not having any dairy and wheat. Lettuce and vegetables are still often undigested, some blood appears every now and then, but I've stopped self-diagnosing for the time being and wait patiently for the colonoscopy. Some nice sedation would be fab, could I please have a decent dose of whatever it is that you guys use there? Please?
My cousin had the same, and she said she was glad she did not know about the test beforehand. I know what it is, but at the same time I don't- I've not experienced it myself. My mind begins to build a bigger and a more serious story about colonoscopy, until it invades my dreams, turns them into nightmares and then I know I've to stop right there. Leave it. I don't even have an exact date yet.

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