January 27, 2014

Microscopic manager

"We have invested in you", says the boss.
"Are you not happy here? Why do you want to leave?"

Have I not invested my time and contributed my time and skills during the time I have been employed here? What a stuuuuuuupid question.
Am I happy? No. Yes. There are days when I am happier, but those days are not here that often anymore. Employee satisfaction survey show decline in many areas. There has been increase in employee dissatisfaction in many areas, not just mine.
I feel empty and kind of sad, on a roller-coaster ride. No matter how engaged I feel today, it could be another story tomorrow. Yeah. What's the root cause of all this? ONE micro-manager. Just one is all it takes and all good work goes down the drain. What that creates in turn is an unmotivated and unenthusiastic employee, who is weighing options.
Aww I feel sick and depressed thinking about this. I start wishing for common cold that would keep my out of boss' lair. I weigh my options and wonder what future will bring. I could crawl into a small space and stay there for some time. Then once I've had enough of small spaces I could return to daylight and think again. Emptiness, disappointment, love, hope, happiness, anxiety, anger, forgiveness. There is always some hope left, grab it and go.

Who invented the word micromanager? Someone should do microscopic exam and see if there is any activity in micromanagers' brain?

After eventful days such as these ("We have invested in you."), that tiny flicker of hope is enough to carry on. Words can hurt, they can leave lasting impression, but they did not kill me. Not now, not ever.

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