July 31, 2013
July 27, 2013
In the blink of an eye
Days turn in to weeks, weeks into months and so on. Vacation that has just begun, is about to end. This is the case when it comes to my vacation, and probably some of you out there recognize same. Wasn't it just yesterday, when I was flying from A to B, and enjoying a delicious piece of strawberry cake? Wasn't it just last night, when I lay myself down in my old bed; bed that I've slept on for years and years and it still serves me well.
There have been slow days, when I look at the time and feel clock has not moved. Better move on, because clock face is always smiling, and running. Moments in the past, say 12 years ago, were slow. So slow that I had to carry a watch and at least two cellphones to ensure I knew what time it was, and WHEN was the time I could go home. Boring conversation, unhappy relationship.. something like that. There are times when I wish I could get those times back, but then again I do not, and I am relieved I lived to tell the tale.
Writing a book suddenly seems like a good idea. There are countless stories I could tell about life, people I have met, places I have been to, but would anyone really honestly like to read a 300 page book, when blog entries are more than adequate. Cancer would probably require at least one chapter.
I will think about it for sure.
Panda the dachshund wants out now. Despite of his name, he is a dog.
There have been slow days, when I look at the time and feel clock has not moved. Better move on, because clock face is always smiling, and running. Moments in the past, say 12 years ago, were slow. So slow that I had to carry a watch and at least two cellphones to ensure I knew what time it was, and WHEN was the time I could go home. Boring conversation, unhappy relationship.. something like that. There are times when I wish I could get those times back, but then again I do not, and I am relieved I lived to tell the tale.
Writing a book suddenly seems like a good idea. There are countless stories I could tell about life, people I have met, places I have been to, but would anyone really honestly like to read a 300 page book, when blog entries are more than adequate. Cancer would probably require at least one chapter.
I will think about it for sure.
Panda the dachshund wants out now. Despite of his name, he is a dog.
July 26, 2013
Keep it confidential
Just when I thought everything is under control. Past creeps up in the form of Facebook and Whats App, which were once friends, perfect examples of modern technology. They are still friends, but they have lost that special friend status. See, Whats App messages can be saved and used and abused whenever more ammunition is needed. It is a handy communication tool, but leaves a record of held conversations. Of course it does. In this day and age of cellphones, SMS, e-mails, Edward Snowden and other famous faces, there is also recording in the cyberspace.
I think we all know someone, whose fingers have slipped and they have sent wrong message to a wrong person by mistake. Jeez I have done that myself, and then had to explain what and why I sent the message. Great if it was a joke about how many psychiatrists are needed to change a lightbulb ( = one, but it will take time and the lightbulb itself must want to change), but something more serious, therein lies the issue.
Cyberspace is absorbing new information evey second. That's where this blog will end up too.
Perhaps that's where Mr Snowden would like to disappear for a while too. I think he would like Angry Birds Star Wars space, he would be like that pink Princess Leia bird character flying all over the place. Yep, pink and fluffy, sure.
In other words, don't publish every word and opinion in Facebook. Avoid Whats App, if you have top secret stuff to share. Even better, don't share confidential stuff anywhere. Keep it to yourself, because sharing it in person even in the deepest thickest coldest Siberian forest, someone may be watching. Look, it is the Internation Space Station! And there, look, man, it's a satellite.
Eyes and ears are everywhere.
I think we all know someone, whose fingers have slipped and they have sent wrong message to a wrong person by mistake. Jeez I have done that myself, and then had to explain what and why I sent the message. Great if it was a joke about how many psychiatrists are needed to change a lightbulb ( = one, but it will take time and the lightbulb itself must want to change), but something more serious, therein lies the issue.
Cyberspace is absorbing new information evey second. That's where this blog will end up too.
Perhaps that's where Mr Snowden would like to disappear for a while too. I think he would like Angry Birds Star Wars space, he would be like that pink Princess Leia bird character flying all over the place. Yep, pink and fluffy, sure.
In other words, don't publish every word and opinion in Facebook. Avoid Whats App, if you have top secret stuff to share. Even better, don't share confidential stuff anywhere. Keep it to yourself, because sharing it in person even in the deepest thickest coldest Siberian forest, someone may be watching. Look, it is the Internation Space Station! And there, look, man, it's a satellite.
July 14, 2013
Life without cancer
There is suddenly more capacity to store information in my brain, at least that's what it feels like. Cancer does not occupy my thoughts that much, hardly at all nowadays.
Despite of not having had my post radio iodine six month check-up, I feel good, whole and happy.
Friend of mine in Facebook published pictures of her cancer journey, and it shows cancer can really wreak havoc in your life, turn everything upside down and inside out. All in all it is just garbage that any of us have to deal with cancer. Or any other short or long term illness. Mind you, common cold can be really and truly annoying, if not even disabling.
When that day comes, when we can say we have kicked cancer's butt, everything in life becomes precious and each day feels pretty good. Good to be alive. No matter what disability we may have as a result of cancer crap, we are still there. Tiniest things such as "people" speaking about you behind your back, does not really matter. Their opinions about you and your life don't matter much either. Your safety network is elsewhere, and other people's opinions don't weigh much. Your life is yours and you know what you are made of. I recently found out that "people", who I one considered friends, or at least "good guys", have turned out to be totally different. Talking behind my back, making comments etc, but I could not care less. I just don't. Why would I care about them and their opinions????? Have they ever gone for mandatory cancer journey? No. So why would I care?
Am I scared of them? No way. I can easily tackle this.
Has cancer changed your personality? It has changed mine. I question things and do not accept just anything. Previously I was shy, timid, introvert and did not like going out much. I did not really choose my friends carefully. I worried a lot about future, about tomorrow, about job interviews, finances, doctor appointments.
I still worry, but much less, because I know who I am. I can look myself in the mirror, and know my value. I am definitely more outgoing, selective about people I want to meet and activities I want to do. I am physically and mentally stronger, thanks to crossfit, yoga, riding, healthier food I eat.
I still have days when I feel like wrecked, but I know it will not last forever. I do something I really want to do each day. I probably would have done more or less same with or without cancer, but cancer speeded up the learning process. Wherever I am now, I am meant to be there, but I can certainly control some facts. Time to leave? Move to another continent?
Time will tell.
Despite of not having had my post radio iodine six month check-up, I feel good, whole and happy.
Friend of mine in Facebook published pictures of her cancer journey, and it shows cancer can really wreak havoc in your life, turn everything upside down and inside out. All in all it is just garbage that any of us have to deal with cancer. Or any other short or long term illness. Mind you, common cold can be really and truly annoying, if not even disabling.
When that day comes, when we can say we have kicked cancer's butt, everything in life becomes precious and each day feels pretty good. Good to be alive. No matter what disability we may have as a result of cancer crap, we are still there. Tiniest things such as "people" speaking about you behind your back, does not really matter. Their opinions about you and your life don't matter much either. Your safety network is elsewhere, and other people's opinions don't weigh much. Your life is yours and you know what you are made of. I recently found out that "people", who I one considered friends, or at least "good guys", have turned out to be totally different. Talking behind my back, making comments etc, but I could not care less. I just don't. Why would I care about them and their opinions????? Have they ever gone for mandatory cancer journey? No. So why would I care?
Am I scared of them? No way. I can easily tackle this.
Has cancer changed your personality? It has changed mine. I question things and do not accept just anything. Previously I was shy, timid, introvert and did not like going out much. I did not really choose my friends carefully. I worried a lot about future, about tomorrow, about job interviews, finances, doctor appointments.
I still worry, but much less, because I know who I am. I can look myself in the mirror, and know my value. I am definitely more outgoing, selective about people I want to meet and activities I want to do. I am physically and mentally stronger, thanks to crossfit, yoga, riding, healthier food I eat.
I still have days when I feel like wrecked, but I know it will not last forever. I do something I really want to do each day. I probably would have done more or less same with or without cancer, but cancer speeded up the learning process. Wherever I am now, I am meant to be there, but I can certainly control some facts. Time to leave? Move to another continent?
Time will tell.
July 02, 2013
Rest in Peace
Two people died, just few days between them. Thousands of miles between them.
One was a bubbly happy young lady, whose blog I have been following for quite some time now. She put up a real fight against cancer, but unfortunately this is how it ended. She is no longer in pain, and is surely watching over us now. Her blog was a great inspiration to me, uplifting, cool, funny, everything! Despite of cancer, she still made every day count. Rest in peace Michelle. You are very much missed.
Another person was someone I knew a lot better, having been working with him for 3 years. Him not being there is a great unmeasurable loss, and grief and sadness can't be described. He was a good man, dying in the midst of doing something he felt passionate about. There is still certain amount of disbelief and many many questions, which will probably be left unanswered forever.
I was lucky and blessed I got to know him. He is.. was a person with big heart, compassion, sense of humor, approachable, always smiling. If he was not smiling, he just needed a word of encouragement and he was ok again.
It is a great loss. He is very much missed, and there are days when I just can't believe he is gone. Rest in peace IS.
One was a bubbly happy young lady, whose blog I have been following for quite some time now. She put up a real fight against cancer, but unfortunately this is how it ended. She is no longer in pain, and is surely watching over us now. Her blog was a great inspiration to me, uplifting, cool, funny, everything! Despite of cancer, she still made every day count. Rest in peace Michelle. You are very much missed.
Another person was someone I knew a lot better, having been working with him for 3 years. Him not being there is a great unmeasurable loss, and grief and sadness can't be described. He was a good man, dying in the midst of doing something he felt passionate about. There is still certain amount of disbelief and many many questions, which will probably be left unanswered forever.
I was lucky and blessed I got to know him. He is.. was a person with big heart, compassion, sense of humor, approachable, always smiling. If he was not smiling, he just needed a word of encouragement and he was ok again.
It is a great loss. He is very much missed, and there are days when I just can't believe he is gone. Rest in peace IS.
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