La vida, única y preciosa

Recuerdo soy amiga, hermana, tía, hija, colega, viajero. 

A veces no sé quién o qué soy. Estoy perdido, deprimido,insuficiente,infeliz, difícil.  

Hay días buenos, más de malos días. Tenemos una preciosa vida.

C'est beau!!

"I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

But I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down, won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight."

- Sia: Chandelier 

I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

And I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier
I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist
Like it doesn't exist
I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night, feel my tears as they dry
I'm gonna swing from the chandelier, from the chandelier

And I'm holding on for dear life, won't look down won't open my eyes
Keep my glass full until morning light, 'cause I'm just holding on for tonight

Crossed lines- priceless

Person A: "You remember there was something I asked you to do so have you done it?"
Person B: " Hmmmph what...?" Person B's eyes become a size of saucer.
Person A: "Well did you arrange that event we discussed. Or not. What?"
Person B: "Me and my fluffy memory man. I can't recall that conversation at all. What are ya talking about?"
Person A: "That event. You know."
Person B: " Well I don't really know."
Person A: "Read your e-mail. Instructions are there."
Person B: "I can't recall receiving any e-mail. I can't find it. My mailbox ain't got no space."
Person A: "Just find it.
Person B: "Okey dokey. Imma workin' on it yo.
Person A takes his/her leave and disappears without a trace.
Person B makes a funny face. Kind of fluffy, you know.

Later in the afternoon it turns out Person A was on his/her usual mission trying to poke and provoke people in the vicinity of the area. Needless to say, she failed in this occasion. Person B was feeling pretty good of her/himself and managed to mislead and annoy Person A.
Once again. The feeling of satisfaction is priceless.

Person C takes even greater pleasure listening the conversations these two often have. In fact it is at least on two occasions daily. Person C is thinking of selling tickets.$40/per conversation/argument, no taxes to be paid= $80/day.. If mathematics is one of your strongest suits, you will see how much it is possible to earn. No taxes= rich in no time.

This is to you, my primary and secondary school teachers

So much talk about bullying at school... Little kids bullying other ones and no one appears to want to interfere. Not schoolmates (who are probably terrified anyway), not school authorities, no one. I just read about a boy, who has been a victim of bullying for quite some time now. Three "bullies" attempted to drown him by pushing his head into toilet bowl. One "bully" slapped him in the middle of art class. One fucker threw a glass of milk at him. Another ***hole attempted to strangle him, and succeeded in rendering the boy unconscious. Would you not say these are attempts to murder this kid?
The below link is for the blog- written in Finnish. Google translation may help- but I believe 99% of the replies to the mother's post really and truly condemn bullying and wonder why the school principal lacks decision making abilities. And has no balls! C'mon, why can't these bullies be transferred to special kind of class for special kind of people? Or some other school, that's not in the neighborhood at all? 
http://lillatirlittan.bellablogit.fi/2014/08/koulukiusaaminen-kun-koulukaan-ei-auta/

I've been there, but it is long long time ago now. I just hope this boy will get an opportunity to get out of this mess..

While I am at it- thanks to my PE teachers, who forced me into the pool, when I did not even know how to swim. Oh yeah, and I was so damn fond of gymnastics too. Not. Thanks for forcing me and now as a result I hate exercise. Thanks to my primary school teacher too, who almost force fed me that yucky cold pasta veggie salad. All my classmates had finished theirs, I was the only one left. Needless to say, I did not finish that effing cold pasta crap- we ran out of time or teacher ran out of patience. I did eventually learn to swim, but I was already 17 so somehow I managed slip away from those awful heavily chlorinated pools. Cheated you by saying I have my period loooool! To this day, I dislike cold pasta salads and veggies too. I'd choose carbs over healthy veggies any time. Force-feeding tactics failed. You loser.
If these are the only traumas given to me by my teachers, then I have to consider myself very lucky. No, not lucky. My classmates took care of bullying, physical and mental violence, verbal abuse and other kind of stuff.
Bullying will never end. There is always some form of bullying going on, such a sad story.

I heard it

Person A: "Can I talk to you for a moment?"
Person B: "Sure yeah c'mon in."
Person A: "Hmmmm that e-mail you sent to Person C. It wasn't quite correct, you know, grammar sucks. Dude."
Person B: "It was meant to be brief, and to the point and it was. Just to get the message across. I ain't saying nothing more about it."
Person A: "Yes, but you can't send those e-mails. They reflect badly on us and do not build trust, or bridges. Or skyscrapers. Bottom line: no more e-mails. Don't argue with me, there is no point in arguing. I don't want to hear your arguments or invalid points or comments or other kind of garbage."
Person B: "Yeah, but man, you sent me mail in the morning asking me to come to your office. That ain't building trust. It's building the tower of annoyance."
Person A: ...................
Person A became speechless and left the room. Not the building.
Soon Person A is back, not physically, but verbally: "Yo man, you want some coffee?"
Person B is stunned and has nothing to say. Dude.
Person A throws in one more attempt: "Are you going anywhere this weekend?"
Person B throws in the towel and begins packing their bags and prepares to leave the building. "Thinkin of going fishin. Possibly."

Names and places have been changed to protect the identity of the two individuals. This war of words took place in the notorious office, that which was recently invaded by aliens. Person A's real identity will probably never be knows as he/she was abducted by the aliens. Person B is no other than our old valued colleague, who at the end of the conversation left the building, only to realize he/she needs to return to work again after weekend. That's life for you.

OneRepublic - Love Runs Out

One rule for you, one for me

This is how the story goes over and over ago, like a broken record:
This person, who works in an unnamed organization, has it all. Decent salary, authority, freedom to do and decide whatever is convenient à la mode de micromanager. Office with a view, which enables the manager to look for disobedient unruly employees. And yes, there are plenty of them.
In normal fair and equal world all employees, including that notorious micromanager arrive at work and leave on time. In ideal world no micromanagement exist, neither do micromanagers, but then we do not live in an ideal world. We live in a world, where manager decides, manager comes and goes, manager is late, manager lies and hides facts, manager manages and  manager says No. Manager is not respected, well-liked or loved, quite the contrary. This sort of managing style won't help in making friends, but the manager does not realize this. 
Why don't same rules apply? Spending rather a wild weekend, returning from holiday or whatever does not give an employee the right to arrive to work late on Monday morning. But somehow these rules don't apply to the manager. Why???!!! I can honestly say I am always on time at work each morning, unless I am home unconscious, had car accident or something. It is very very rare that my alarm clock does not function. Manager is paid that high salary, and then gets these extra privileges too. Perhaps they are included in the contract? "Thou shall be late every Monday morning" and "Returning from holidays gives you an automatic right to be late or not show up at all". Yes, this must be the case. My contract does not give me these rights, but there are always those privileged ones. Always. That's just the fact of life.
I am disgusted.  

Back to the past.. for a moment

View from the Four Seasons hotel in Riyadh. The hotel is pretty awesome and amazing views certainly prove it. New high rise buildings have appeared in the horizon. Of course the first thing I was searching for was The Hospital. I know where it is, but could not see it. Not at night, not in the morning. Could the hospital have vanished without a trace....? That would have been the very best option.

But no. Next morning I found myself sitting in a taxi driving toward The Hospital. I hate seeing it and nothing in or outside that hospital structure provides any comfort. My one and only task was to find the outpatient building (ok, same location, same floor, same room), see the doctor (nice to see ya... not), book the next appointment (AWWWW NO NOT ANOTHER ONE). Can we check your height and weight? NO. Blood pressure? Sure. 155/91 (I really and truly hate this place). Do you have fever? No. 36.7 C (despite of the fact that it was well above +40 C outside and I was boiling with heat and anger and disgust and fear). They probably will now document in the file that "patient was not cooperative". Go ahead, document what you want.

End result is that I will need to return to The Hospital in October. They want to do the final thyroid whole body scan. If it was just the cutting edge scan and no blood tests, no time wasting doctor's appointments, I'd probably be ok. The fact is that it's all inclusive, all comes in one package, same price for all. Once again, they will document that patient was reluctant to co-operate. I get it that they are trying to help me, but they too could be little more understanding and kind. I get it that it's a hospital and some people think working in hospital gives you the right to treat patients like dirt. Definitely not inform them of any delays. Definitely delay them even more if you can. Add to that being relentlessly rude and patronizing. Not all staff do that at all, of course. Thank God that they don't. 

Travel to The Hospital AKA torture chamber annoys me most. Waiting times piss me off. Queues everywhere are a real turn-off. Waiting areas are sterile, aged and tired and there are no seats. Then there is a sign "Do Not Wait in The Corridor". Well, smart pants, tell me shall I wait outside then..?!?

In preparation for the scan, low-iodine diet looks forward to meeting me www.cc.nih.gov/ccc/patient_education/pepubs/lo_io_diet.pdf. Thyrogen injections are eager to attack me with that very sharpest needle. www.thyrogen.com/ Awesome. I can't wait. Just makes me wonder how far I could push it with the low-iodine diet. How strict must one really be? What if I all of a sudden start craving for pasta, cereal, chips and all that Thou Shall Not Eat? One or two mouthfuls probably won't hurt? Once again "patient is non-compliant" will be documented in my file.
There are three more questions I need to answer too: What if I don't go at all? No scans, no appointments, no follow-up.What if I go, but walk out?What if I just don't go, cancel all appointments, scans, needlesticks etc.

I may come up with answers one day, sooner or later, before October arrives, but before that I may need to read my own survival guides I wrote in the blog in 2012 and 2013. Will I survive by reading my own survival guides?


 

Life is unpredictable

When we expect to board the plane, be it MH17 or another, we just expect to get on the plane and get to the destination within the time that's supposed to be the right time. The earlier the better. Then the news about Malaysian aircraft. It could have been any of us in that plane. How awful! I happened to be browsing through Facebook newsfeed and there it was; online newspaper headline. Speculations of how, who, why, what continue. Separatists have previously claimed responsibility of destroying various other aircrafts, helicopters etc so yeah, I guess it could be them again. Whoever it was, whoever owned those missiles it is still an absolute tragedy and murder.
All those passengers, just like us, have stories to tell. It's all over for them and it's a terrible loss. We just don't know when it is all over and it's not necessarily airplane crash.

Any of these days could be our last, so then perhaps there is no need to get so wound up about minor issues in daily life. I try remembering it too.

Dog's don't micromanage

Since The Dog has moved into my household, he has shredded a jacket, chewed and destroyed a pair of sunglasses, pair of reading glasses, lipstick, several paper bags (those posh ones you get from posh stores), pair of cheap hotel slippers, magazines/newspapers, emptied the contents of my handbag, raided my friend's gym bag. He attempted to shred his new doggie bed too, but he stopped when I told him NOOOOOOOO.
I take him out for a walk three times a day, feed him, pet him, chat with him and this is what he does. He is nowadays called Charlie The Shredder. If you have confidential papers to shred, so ahead and deliver them at Charlie's office.

"Ten Choices You Regret in Ten Years"; the whole web article is worth reading. It is so well worth it that I shared it in my Facebook page too. It's interesting, thought-provoking and even more- very up to date. Have a look at this one:

"Trying to micromanage every little thing. – Life should be touched, not strangled.  Sometimes you’ve got to relax and let life happen without incessant worry and micromanagement.  Learn to let go a little before you squeeze too tight.  Take a deep breath.  When the dust settles and you can once again see the forest for the trees, take the next step forward.  You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great.  Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not.  It just takes some time to connect all the dots."

http://www.the-open-mind.com/ten-choices-you-will-regret-in-10-years/#isMAvhqBhS1GpyKr.01

 

Weekend is almost upon us, so let's not spoil it by talking about micromanagement. It's just that micromanagement seems like that very latest buzzword, something in fashion right now. Hell yeah! But does anyone really understand the concept of micromanagement? Merriam-Webster Dictionary can offer a helping hand: it defines micromanaging as 'managing with excessive control or attention to details'. 

 

Micromanager= a person with low self-esteem, bullying tendencies, feelings of inadequacy. Wearing blinkers. Not able to see the forest from the trees. Closes the stable door after the horse has bolted. Plain stupid. 

 

There is something to think about for the weekend, but I am pretty sure my dog has no micromanaging tendencies. He is awesome, shreds stuff, but stays happy all the time. Smiles. Does not ask questions. Does not attempt controlling people.