The days are full of sunshine, little rays of hope of betterness in this life. There is always hope. F15 and tornados flying above, is the war upon us? The surface is calm here, deeper down there is anger and deepest ever hatred. My mission is to bring peace and gratitude, each and everyone deserves a chance. No matter what their religion, color, race, beliefs, single, married. Kindness and compassion is for everyone, and we all know what forgiveness is. Forgive and forget if you can, I CAN, I have found that kind of strength in me. All I need to do is go back two years in my thoughts- what was I then? What have I become? Can I honestly say I have learned my lesson?
I have, and once I'd admitted I have indeed found my own Truth,then it was relatively easy to continue the journey. Learned to let go of my attachments (there were many of them..). I no longer needed to pretend I was someone else once I knew how to be true to my SELF. I guess all this brought me back to the Middle East (you could also say the aircraft brought me here :)
A rough patch on Saturday Jan 11, when I got all emotional and upset and tearful, but did not let it get me down- my inner strength in that situation guided me through. I saw it coming.. Once again yoga and meditation showed the way, and that is how I carried on. But I must say crying does help.. in small doses.. In a way I was disappointed to notice I could not control myself, but it all needed to be poured out, there can't be anything wrong in that, and at least it happened in the privacy of my home. Loss of old friends, old country, new home, new work, new dangers and challenges.. Feeling so positive and full of happiness for a long time, how can my mood change all of a sudden? And it was nothing to do with PMS, hormones.. Hah. Me and my overconfident ideas, that I'd adjust just as easily as before, but it is obviously not that straightforward.
It will all settle now, patience pays, remaining neutral and allowing things unfold.. Peace, salam.