1. I failed in Cardiac Monitoring course- "minor" problems in interpreting EKG's.. and my specialty is cardiac..
2. I had to modify my profile and "relocate" in London as my blog had somehow turned into an Arabic one. Dhahran is my hometown for the time being, but who knows how long.
3. I wish to study Animal psychology.
4. I love Starbucks Cafe Latte :)
5. I am dyslexic with numbers, letters, reading, writing, typing.
6. I like horror movies- Saw III rocks!!!!
7. I dance Bhangra at home and my iPod is full of Bhangra too
8. I am addicted to Facebook
Enough? More to come, for sure, sometime between this week, next year.. or maybe never, depends on if I feel like confessing.
Two days ago I decided to buy a TV. Well, the one I have is a giant, weighs more than I can imagine- four men were needed to lift it up on the table, where it was ever since been sitting. The new TV is a flat screen, modern, Sony, and I could carry on and on praising the latest purchase.. But I'll spare you from it. The new TV was such a bulky item that I asked the Carrefour guys for home delivery, and no problem there. 11am delivery time was set for the following day. 1.5 hours later I am still waiting and waiting, when the phone call arrives. The delivery guys want me to come and meet them at the main gate. No, chance, I ask them to ask the "gatekeepers" for instructions how to get to my place. Half an hour later (this trip from the main gate to my house takes usually no longer than 10-15 min) the guys turn up, but I still have to meet them at the parking. So I go, see my new TV for the first time (albeit in a box), but I like what I see and can't wait.. The guys carry it in, one of them a sort of well-dressed driver and another smaller one creepy looking wearing yellow overalls. Surprise surprise, they have no tools with them to open the box. I fetch the scissors for them. Communication is a challenge as they do not seem to understand a word of English, and my Arabic ain't that good. With a combination of sign language, Arabic and English and few grunts the guys finally manage to fish the TV out of the box and on to the table.
As far as I am concerned, that's it, well done.
The one with smart looking shirt makes a move toward the front door, the yellow man however stands in front of me and for once I have the pleasure of being taller than he is.. and I am not tall, 5"4 without heels.. He asks for money! Excuse me! No money. No thanks, not for this sort of service. First of all they were late. Then they have no tools or knowledge of how to connect the satellite receiver. Besides, I paid for the TV and everything else I bought, so I ain't going to give a single dime to these guys. Call me greedy and selfish, even knowing they do not get paid much, I still would not budge. Instead I politely said Thank You, ask them to leave and eventually they do. No money, no fun. Yep, they probably thought I was a millionaire for being able to purchase such a "big" TV..
Would I pay for service that once again sucks.. Nope.
Where to complain if I find that internet service provider provides crap non-existent service..? Possibly because I am still stuck with the 19th century dial-up connection. It took me 15 minutes to get this posting page open, even then I keep on getting 'Problem loading page' messages and yee haa have I not seen more than enough of those messages today.. It is as if the service provider/weblog or both of them anticipate me writing and WHINING about the snail-speed internet connection? I mean who has the time ihis century to wait for one freakin page to open for 15 minutes?
I miss the old Talk Talk broadband back in England, even though it too had its challenging days, and on those days my neighbor's old-fashioned dial-up connection was working just fine. What to make of all this..?
Well, we all live the way we live, guests adapt or simply piss off.. which is something I am seriously contemplating. Return to the civilized world for the last time. All the signs, arrows, roads are pointing that way so perhaps I will finally take the hint, pack my bags and disappear in to the crowd.. and find a place I can call home.
This place is simply gorgeous, even though most parts are man-made. Sunrise is still fantastic in Bahrain.
Not much good luck recently with the car. First the brakes failed, then the tire exploded and I was forced to desert the car at the parking. Then one look in the daylight, and I realized the left side back tire had blown. Has it damaged the wheel too..? After all I was driving for another 2-3 miles AFTER the tire had exploded. All the rest of the tires will no doubt follow the lead and the car is a goner. That's what happens I guess when one buys second hand car without having it checked first. My first thought was something's not right because the car had felt shaky for a week, but I kept driving. Of course I had a "look" but saw nothing wrong with the tires. They were old, that's all. Not having a car makes life more challenging and isolated, as there is no public transport here where I live and you depend on arranging own transport. My bike too needs repair- I can recall the days when I was driving a cornflower blue Brompton folding bike in London. The tires occasionally needed more air, otherwise it was a perfect little creature. I bought new $90 bike, which then began falling apart. Tires one by one, gears etc.. What about bike and car maintenance..? Yes, all the vehicles in my life have had regular maintenance, but shit happens and they break down.
Ah what a life.
Flying high, flying low, painting pictures, listening to VH1, dancing, watching CSI NY, shopping, traveling, sightseeing. Part of growing up, learning?
I certainly learn more about cars- next step changing the tire..? Then junking the car, then off to Toyota dealer to find out what they have on offer. Toyota Avalon would be a favorite, as well as my all time love Lexus :) but may have to settle for the "cheapest".
Sadness, overwhelming sadness and desperation. What have I done?
Life goes on, the show must go on and I am still here- feeling the constant pressure and endless questions; how would I like to spend the rest of my days? What have I done, have I made the right decision? Come out and let them know who and what you are. No matter what race, color, sexual orientation, nationality you have, you are welcome.
It is amazing to notice, from day to day that some people's manners never improve here. Good example is queuing up for "service"- the service itself sucks, but the people(=men) who feel it is their privilege to be served before a single woman or a group of women, really truly suck. At the airport: I was standing in the queue, very clearly in the queue, when few young men decided they are more important and they cannot possible let a woman go first. Another occasion, yet again at the airport, when an elderly local gentleman decided his cause is more valuable than mine and his need to be served first is greater than mine. Well, we are still very backward here- those lucky ones who have been abroad must realize men and women are more or less equal. Whilst here, I just have to swallow my pride and let the thoughts be published in my weblog. So the whole world knows. Don't get me wrong, I don't stand there and wait for things to happen, but I too push and elbow my way to the airline check in desk, and give dirty displeased looks to those who dare come too close. It often does the trick and I have to go to the ladies room, pump my fists in the air and shout; "Yes, I showed them again!". But still, this is a man's world.
Once again, when you have to queue up for entering the aircraft, that's another annoyance! Some do not understand the meaning of the "queue" and instead form a group. Like that group could actually enter the plane all together and hold hands. Garbage. Don't we all have our assigned seats in the plane and the plane won't take off until the last Abdullah, Mohammed and Ali have found their seats..?! Once the queue finally forms, people push and get too close for comfort and few words such as "haram" seem to work every time and the pushy ignorant people back off an inch or two. Yee haa, what a relief.
And the forever issue; cellphones. As soon as the plane touches down, cellphones are being switched on and phone calls going ahead in full steam before we even reach the gate. Hmmm.. I remember Europeans being a bit more compliant in this. Perhaps the airline has a different policy here.
Once when I was returning from vacation, there was no one (=employer's representative) to meet me at the airport, so the ever so pleasant fun (not) airport officials decided to take me to the basement (out of sigh, out of mind) to wait. It did not prove to a lengthy wait, but for me, who is used to free speech and liberty this was not at all acceptable. I cried and refused to sit down, and questioned them constantly why am I locked in here, why is it that women get treated so badly, why are women inferior in Saudi Arabia..? That sort of stuff. This went on and on, one of the "officials" offered me a cup of tea, and I don't remember if I accepted it.. I think I did. When the rep finally reached the airport, I was at the end of my tether and very very angry. It turned out no one had informed the rep I was coming- not his fault, but someone else's, who had not bothered to contact the right people. These days the airport is just a distant memory, but an unpleasant one.
One thing is for sure- these guys are not used to woman standing up for themselves and seems they are not fond of seeing a woman cry. Something that may come useful one day.
So respeKt all human beings, men and women and children, whatever their race, religion, culture.
Prepare for your flight by bringing your iPod, book, blank stare and prepare to fight for your rights, then you'll get to your destination God willing here in the Kingdom.
There is no other way than to believe. Belief in God is one of the simplest things and God's presence can be felt everywhere, every day if we just let ourselves feel it. Three days ago I was undergoing some difficult challenging chores at work and thought I'd fail. I know, I know, positive thinking... I did not fail, because I felt God reaching out for me, and all of a sudden I had calmness in my mind, something that I had not experienced before. By Guru's grace this feeling is still strong and does not show any sign of leaving me. Kind of a safety net, if you like. I feel supported, both mentally and physically. Of course I am blessed to have many unique friends here, very caring and kind people around me. But I still wonder about that event three days ago.. without someone, something stronger and ever-present I think I would have been "nailed", like some not so kind ones like to put it. In my mind God's presence has been proved, not for the first time, but confirming all the signs that I have received during the past 10 years..
Other than that, weather continues to be hot and at times extremely humid. Temperature closer to +50 C, surely.
After yet another day at work, on my way home I thought I cannot make any sense of this even if I try. Life here in general, it is unreal. There may be another word to describe it, but right now I don't know any better. Palm trees, sand, hot and humid weather. Maid, gardener. Luxury shopping malls, no expenses have been saved in planning and implementing all this. I am beginning to think I have no part to play in building this society, that I have nothing to contribute, nothing to give to these people. That's just how I am today, the way I feel. Life sometimes offers second chances, I was lucky to get this one and it enabled me to work in the Middle East once more, but there are more and more days when I feel this particular second chance was not a blessing. One in disguise, maybe.. that is a possibility. In any case, I have paid off my debts, I am financially more secure, which was one of my goals. I was not ready to go just yet, but my intuition tells me something else.
Questions are endless and they keep on coming;
Is the grass greener on the other side?
Is it true?
Why me?
Why can't I forget?
Que hora es?
Is it too late?
Still the life goes on in the land of extreme heat and humidity. The very end of July has brought yet another month to an end, with stifling humidity. This can only mean that the weather is changing- more humidity, shamals, sunshine. It is burning hot especially during the midday. Sweat pouring out, when I just pop my head out of the door. Sunglasses are a must here, therefore I own three pairs of them now. Excessive.. Ok.
The car survives the heat, but the ABS warning lights are still intermittently on and the whole dashboards is lit up like a Christmas tree. I drive the car until it stops. Sometimes the brakes resist, and the car jumps like a kangaroo. Speeding is obviously out of question, since the brakes are no longer 100% reliable.
Shopping.. well, just once.. a vague memory of shopping at Carrefour few weeks ago. Nothing expensive, just every days necessities. Tampons are hard to find here, there is an occasional selection at the local store, but most of the time I go to Geant or Carrefour and buy truckloads of them. All other products are available.. Except for Yogi Tea- someone said I could get it in Bahrain, but I have not yet been there. Besides I have three unopened boxes of Yogi Tea here, remains of my vacation in London last month. Seems even that was ages ago.
Do I now need to write
"Thank You"
at the end here, like some people do when they write e-mails at work. Heck, I'd read the message anyway, no need to thank me for anything.
