It is just a realization of this morning that I am free.
Free to forgive, forget, free to be humble, assertive, kind, compassionate, judgmental. Instead of just thinking of myself and MY needs, it's been exciting and uplifting to notice that there are others, who need certain things more than I do. My attachment to material world has been a hard habit to break, but I have successfully donated a lot of my belongings to people who need them more than I do. At least I'd like to think so.
On my daily walk I walked through Hyde Park, Green Park and St James' Park. The wildlife is most exciting part, and the vast open spaces, like the lungs of London. I also saw one of the most beautiful sunrises that colored the sky red, pink and orange. The parks are an incredibly beautiful and essential part of London. There were many summer days that were spent in the park in good company; picnics, sunbathing, ice cream..
I am still waiting for the confirmation of the departure date- whether it is Dec 20 or later (or earlier..?!), it is undecided. The prospect of spending Christmas alone here is terrifying me, but if that is what I have asked, then universe will provide it. But secretly I will be thinking 'WHAT A JOKE' if that happens. My life, my mind, my thoughts- what can I do? The answer is let the thoughts go, give them a vacation, permission to stay in the background but do not listen to them. I am going to the movies, to the London Zoo, to sell my Tag Heuer watch, to enjoy my last days in London.
All is forgiven.