We went to visit my old wise grandmother today. She is 95 years old! This amount of life-experince is certainly not to be ignored, but respected. She lives in a nursing home, in a small village- it actually gave me a good impression and the elderly citizens are well looked after. Still, it'd be ideal if they could live in their own homes.. but sadly this is not always possible. My grandmother used to remember the good old days, when she went to feed the farm animals, and old habits die hard, so she kept doing the same, leaving the house in the early hours of morning, expecting to find the cows, chickens etc.. who were long gone. We could not allow her to do that in below 32F temperatures, freezing cold winter mornings so there was no other option for her apart from the nursing home.
She is as entertaining and unassuming as always, and eager to give advice. The fact that I am not married is a constant cause of worry for her, and probably disappointing as well.. and in a way, fascinating. She grew up in a farmhouse, got married, had three kids.. something that I have not done yet. But she told me to look after myself, get married, enjoy what life has on offer and then there is more than enough time to think about it all when one reaches the old age. True. That is what she is doing now, surrounded by calmness, a beautiful view of snowy fields and forests.. she was not being negative or moaning even for one second- even though she expressed the feeling of loneliness (her husband passed away less than a year ago). She told me to get married, bring that potential husband candidate home, just to give her enough notice so she can think about the wedding present!
The entertaining part in the conversation was when she asked whether she needs to take her tablets and pills with food or water, or coffee. And maybe "coffee might not be good after all as it contains cocaine"- my mum and I had a good laugh- asked her if she means "caffeine" instead :)
My life has come to a junction, knowing I am the only one responsible of my life, I need to decide what to do. A feeling of uneasiness crawls into my mind when I think about long-term commitments, and things that I'd like to avoid.. Right now I am free, no work, no yoga, but just about enough money to survive doing pretty much nothing for a month or so. Right now I am doing what I REALLY want to do, which is I am on VACATION at my family home, no one there to tell me "do this and then do that" and harassing me. Mind you, Finland is not such a bad place in small doses.. and I even let a tiny idea into my mind of buying a house here.. By the lake..